Yippeee! I go to WIMWI!

Note: Just realized years later that I have left many memorable posts incomplete. There have been several blog posts over the years which I wanted to write (I used to write the title and let it remain in the hope that I will write sometime later). I kinda regret that laziness because I failed to capture some brilliant moments like leaving from Bangalore and my unprepared run at the Bangalore midnight marathon. I don't think I can complete those posts now and so I instead deleted the drafts. But this one post was about 70-80% complete and hence, I felt, better late than never!

For the umpteenth time, I have had a long long break from blogosphere.. The things and events that have occurred in the meantime are just too many to narrate... So, to cover up my backlog on the blogging front, here is the narration of one of the most memorable days in my life.. The day when life changed from agony to ecstasy.. and the change was not so smooth after all..

It began with the dawn of the much-awaited 27th of April. The previous day, the revered DHRM had reluctantly agreed to end the Cruciatus curse that it had cast on the many aspirants of CAT 2006 who were eagerly waiting to be let into one of the six coveted institutes.

I reached office early and was feeling all the anxiousness all over again. After 15 days of facing the question "When will the results be announced?", the situation had suddenly changed to "What the results would be?" I had felt that the delayed results would just wash away all the excitement of results. But that was not to be.

The first blow came at about 1:30 pm when IIMC came out with their results. And the institute was sorry to inform that I was not among the list of candidates selected for the PGDM program at IIM-Cal for 2007-09. Well, I knew C was one of my worse performances at the GD/PI stage but the sting of the first reject was painful nevertheless.

It was a rather light lunch thereafter, given that 5 more were to go. I got a call from another colleague (who had all calls but A) and he had made it to C. I congratulated him and talked about not getting through and he gave me all the gyaan on patience and staying relaxed. Yes. I smiled to myself. "It's just one of the six", I thought. Five more to go.

There was certainly no way to keep concentrating on work and my boss, Gaurav, was well aware of it. About 2:45 in the afternoon, given the tense atmosphere, Pappu (a senior colleague) suggested to have a walk out for an ice-cream. The rest of my team had my login details and were checking the results periodically.

We reached the ice-cream store and ordered some chocolate flavor. We tried to talk about something unconnected with CAT. Pappu tried to crack a joke or two and it lightened the moment.

And then the phone buzzed! It was my colleague Prady. "Dude, you've made it to I", he said. "Oh great. Thanks!" I replied, certainly relieved. Well, having six calls, people would have thought that getting into Indore was no big deal but it was indeed a big deal for me. At least I had cracked one of the IIMs! :-)

Well, we soon finished off the ice-cream and were on the way back when the phone buzzed again. This time it was Kozhikode. I had made through God's own IIM! I silently congratulated myself.

And by the time I had reached office, there was a wave of congratulations amid which, another colleague Ramlal announced that Lucknow was done as well! So 3 of 6 in the bag!

Then there was a gap for some time it was close to 4pm. No more results coming out. Gaurav suggested that we go out for our evening chai and biscuits. It was a treat from me to the team. Just a starter treat, of course.

The two big ones, A and B, were still out there. Would I get through. I was more confident of getting through B than through A. I thought back on the interview. I could look at it as being positive as well as negative. It all depended on how I wanted to look at it. The interview was done and the only thing to do now was to wait.

Gaurav thought that we may as well get back to doing some work in the meantime. So we were talking about something when my phone rang one more time. This time, it was my dad. And the happiness in his voice was almost evident. His words "Congrats. A madhye jhala" are the only ones I remember now. I just smiled and whispered A to Gaurav and walked out. I spoke with parents for about 5 minutes. And then the flow of congratulations began!

The rest of the evening was just surreal and I had at least a couple of dozen phone calls. In the middle of it all, someone told me that I hadn't made it to B but then who cared! The Well-kn0wn Institute of Management in Western India had admitted me! It was a dream come true!

I left from office at 10PM that day. 27th April 2007 is certainly one of the most memorable days of my life.

Two weeks of agony

I have had a long break from active blogging. And that was because I was living in a dream. But before that golden dream was a very dark phase. The two weeks from April 12th to 26th.

The final results for the admissions to the IIMs were withheld because of the quota issue. And the D-Day which was supposed to be 12th April was pushed back several times. I spent most of the time on Pagalguy (for the uninitiated, it is THE MBA discussion for anything related to CAT).

So here is how a typical day at office after April 12th went:

I reach office around 12. Actually it is just about 12 and so I am tempted to put 11:55 in the register (It has a kind of psychological effect that I at least reached office in the morning). I see the security person and say with a smile, "Good Morning!"
He frowns. Looks at it watch and replies, " Good Afternoon Sir!"
I give him a frown (and he is smiling now; That security guard is a sadist, I tell you).

Entering office, most of the people have already come in and everyone looks up to me with a questioning face. Then while I am just logging in, someone comes about and asks "Kya yaar! Results aa gaye kya?" And though I am mightily irritated by this question, I try to put up a smile and say, "Nahi re.. Abhi tak toh nahi aaye.. Dekhte hai aaj ki news mein kya hai?"

I settle myself into the chair, drink some water (how nice that I don't even have to get up from my place to fetch water!) and run through Outlook with a detached attitude. There is always a Good Morning mail from my sister (along with some sort of inspirational message) and I wonder when was the last time I read a Good Morning mail in the morning. Within five minutes, I am done with checking my mails and I am already onto PaGalGuY on the "Results frozen" thread for the latest developments on the quota issue. Also, I use Google News to keep track of any news on that issue.

Another 15-20 minutes and I am through with updating myself (though the update is only that the Govt is trying "all legal and constitutional measures" to resolve the quota issue and is "acting in the best interests of students from all sections of the society"). I curse the govt and the politicians who are always emphasizing the "sections" in our society. It is now time for my morning(?) tea and I look for people to accompany me to the canteen outside office. Almost always, I do find someone to come along (either willingly or unwillingly after my coaxing) and I try to rid myself of thoughts about the quota and results. But whenever I do not want to think of something, that is exactly what I am thinking about (some sort of Murphy's Law) and I find myself utterly depressed and helpless. Nevertheless, I enjoy the small walk to the canteen and the cup of tea does help me relax myself.

The next one hour is spent with several refreshes of both the Results Frozen thread and the Google News Page (the latter does reload by itself periodically but then it always feel better to see a page reloading before your eyes). There is some intermittent work to be done but I either delegate it to an intern (our precious Murgi :P) or just do it myself with the least possible amount of interest and concentration.

And then it is lunch time. Either I am feeling damn hungry because I want to be somehow away from the workplace (to stop refreshing those forum pages) or my colleagues have had some sort of Lembas bread that keeps them from feeling hunger. The next fifteen minutes are spent coaxing people to drop whatever they are doing and go out for lunch immediately. But then the next question that comes forth is, "Where do we go for lunch?" There are really very few options at this and the scorching sun adds further to our misery. Most of the times we have to wait for about 10-15 min before we get a place to sit in the restaurant (Bangalore definitely needs more good quality restaurants). The food does not interest me at all and I simply try to divert my mind from any thoughts of the results. The company of my friends at lunch lightens my mood and I am cheerful again on my way back.

Again some more time spent refreshing news pages and cursing the government and then reluctantly trying to concentrate at the work at hand. Solving a couple of sudokus in the afternoon helps keep sleep at bay. Soon enough, it is 4:30PM and I find willing company for a cup of tea. More often than not, the tea time discussions drift to CAT results and the childish behavior of the government but it again helps to vent out the frustration. I return and post a few replies on Pagalguy after having read the afternoon updates. Most of these updates are frustrations of working junta all over India who are narrating their woes and easing their pain. The mutual support of PG members for each other was simply amazing. Once in a while though, someone posts a fake result link that makes my heart jump. But the most I can do is post an angry response or read other angry responses. I feel utterly depressed as if a Dementor in the form of AS is sucking out every happy emotion out of me.

The evening has more work for me. The work is quite boring stuff; nothing new. But then it had stopped being anything new a long time back. Why am I feeling the intensity of boredom at work so strongly now? Probably I can blame it on the MHRD. How can they announce a meeting to be held at 8pm, meet at 8:45pm and then after 45 min decide that some allies are not represented and just postpone it to the next day? That is the height of irresponsibility. And in the meantime, the news channels are playing havoc by spreading rumors and making equivocal headlines. "Down with coalition politics and free media!", I scream silently.

Another day goes down and no results are out. People are more worried about when the results would be declared rather than what the result would be. But still there is that mystical thing called hope which keeps us going through yet another day just like the earlier one. And life moves on. Will write soon about THE D-DAY (27th April).

A la Wonderla...

I got up at 9:30AM. It was some day in the middle of the week; but I could not readily figure out whether it was Wednesday or Thursday. It is usually difficult to distinguish between Wednesdays and Thursdays; you know that it has been quite some time since the weekend but you don't recall how many days. After all, a routine day at office is as good (or as bad) as another. I was feeling the dizzyness from waking at this untimely hour.Moreover, my right eye was sore due to some reason. The only bright side was that now I had the time to go downstairs and have a cup of tea and then read the newspaper before leaving for office.

Within an hour and a half, I was on my way to office. The April sun was getting oppressive. The mercury seemed to be headed north day after day. I was pleased to find an auto right away. It was the kind of start to a day that makes one feel cheerful. But that was not to last too long. The auto driver tried to act too smart and broke lanes at a traffic signal only to result in utter chaos and a traffic jam both ways. So many vehicles were idling away due to one stupid move from an auto driver and we were not only burning so much of fossil fuel but also pumping out so much of those gases which would push the mercury still further. Moreover, just wonder the number of people-hours lost in the jam. And this was just one road in one of the cities of India. I remembered that quote from the most intelligent person of the last century: Two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity and I am not sure about the former.

I reached office and it was BAU (Business As Usual). People checking mails and news and other general stuff on the net. Some of them discussing complex things (matters of consequence may be). Soon it was lunch time and I and Kadam met Ramkumar downstairs. The other people around were ZOD, Prady and Pramod. (A more detailed description of the people involved in this blog will appear sometime later in a separate post.) It was then that the idea of making a trip to Wonderla came up and we all jumped on it. Pramod showered heaps of praise on it but then backed off saying he had been there just a week ago (that f*cker!) . But the decision had been made. We were off to Wonderla on the weekend. We got further recruits in Kamesh and Nikesh.

Now was the crucial part. We were supposed to meet at office on Saturday at 9AM. The best I managed to wake up was 9:15AM and found several missed calls on my cell. Thanks to Prady and his Apache, I managed to reach the rendezvous point at 9:45AM. ZOD was seething with anger and the moment we arrived, we were greeted with a live Howler from ZOD. However, the problem is that when ZOD gets angry, you just can't stop laughing. This angers him still further and the chain reaction continues and finally ending with ZOD heaving deep breaths and shifting his weight from one foot to another (You have got to see that to enjoy it!).

Soon we were on our way to Wonderla and cruising at a brisk speed (normally unreachable on city roads) and after one brief pitstop to get fuel, we reached Wonderla around 11AM. The first impression was very good and I knew it would be memorable being here. Rather than waste a few thousand words, here is the first impression.. The refreshing breeze is quite evident isn't it?

After shelling out Rs. 540 per head and also with the natural beauty around, it was a very pleasant start. There were too many rides to enjoy and time was short. So we began with the most thrilling ones!

The first ride was Maverick. A very innocent looking one at the outset but multiple 360 deg turns in quick succession followed by weird turns at 45 deg from the ground had our heads spinning. And the unfortunate part was six of us went together whereas Nikesh went in the next round. The poor fella was so scared that he was just holding his head with eyes shut and the terror kept him from coming to many other rides later.

The next to follow was Insanity and it was pairs of people randomly arranged at different positions and then it starts turning insanely in all directions at high speeds. The background music of Du Hast Mich (Rammstein) added to the atmo and it was thoroughly enjoyable. We had another round of this insane stuff and it was awesome. In fact I would term it LEGENDARY! :P

Next followed the Pirate Ship (Total bachcha stuff but we took the pleasure of screaming nonetheless), a bit of rope climbing, Vertical Fall (thought it would be very exciting but not quite compared to earlier rides; we could have a good top view of the entire place though!) and a few others (I don't recall all the names!). We were all damn hungry and all the turning and spinning had churned our stomachs. We relished some manchurian stuff, fried rice and sandwiches sitting near the water pools. And then it was time to chill out in the water during the afternoon. Some pics to give a feel of the relaxed mood. (Lo! I saved another couple of thousand words!)

The next item on the agenda were the hourly waves in the waterpool that rose upto a few metres and one had to jump up at the exact point of arrival of the crest to stay over the water. Initially, I was not able to get the timing accurate and frequently ended up being submerged in water (I am no swimmer!) The thrill of being in water and enjoying the waves was too much to resist and soon, I had improved my timing and managed to stay afloat (well, most of the times!)

As the waves were about to end after 15 min of total masti, I found that things around me were appearing blur. I thought that it was the effect of the water on my eyes till suddenly it dawned on me! My glasses were not where they should be! We were all on the mission glassesfinder and I even crossed some barriers I was not supposed to cross! Just in search of my glasses! This got the helpers around frantic and they angrily advised me to go back behind the LoC. (I had accidently entered the all-female part of the pool :P) The helper guy promptly brought forward a fishing net and got my glasses out. How nice to have a clear vision again! Albeit with a few scratches.. But I was not the only one whose glasses were damaged. The ZOD had lost his glasses too and he sent nbd waves in the pool after the regular waves. He found them later too but they were broken and no longer usable. This was yet another proof that the universe had conspired against ZOD (when my glasses just had a few scratches, why should it be that his were totally unusable?) Unfair-e-yaar!!

The late afternoon was marked by awesome water slides. The twists and turns on these slides were einfach klase! The sinuous tunnels which wound their way down from the third floor like huge serpents swallowing you down their winding bodies until you saw light after maybe 30 seconds (but which seemed like hours!) The water slides were so numerous that we lost count of the number of times we made our way up and down the stairs enjoying every bit of it. But the climax of them all were the near vertical fall (at an angle of 70 deg to the ground). You could see the setting sun as you made your way from a height of three floors to the pool below. The impact on ur back when u reach the base leaves you stunned to say the least. It was a once in a lifetime experience (at least the life so far!).

It was evening time and we had a few snacks before changing into dry clothes. We had a few more rides to go to.. But the most thrilling of them was the Hurricane.. Moving and twisting at slower speeds is actually more painful than the speed of Insanity. And the sudden gear changes were too much. And even my seat belt came kinda loose in the middle of that! The last ride that we could get after this was the Great Giant wheel whose base itself was some 15 storeys above the ground. The view around was beautiful and it's slothful movement was very soothing.

The return journey took us a bit longer and we ended the day with some delicious Hyderabadi Biryani. All in all, one of the more pleasant and memorable days in Bangalore. And more importantly, I enjoyed some rides which I would have been terrified to experience earlier. I was especially afraid earlier of those tunnel slides and the hurricane ride (from Essel World and Water Kingdom experience). But now there would be no fear... just lingering memories of the times when i conquered my fears.

Look straight at your fear,

And into thin air will it disappear!

The Little Master

Note: Though I had started writing this poem the day when India lost to Sri Lanka; but somehow I have only managed to complete this one exactly one month later on the 34th birthday of the Little Master.

At that tender age of sixteen,
Oh! How young and charming he had been!

The youngest one on the international stage
Who would take him seriously, given his age?

Facing the likes of Wasim and Waqar,
Everyone thought he would never get far.

Hit on his head by a nasty one,
You would expect fear in his eyes but there was none.

Eight men waiting round his bat,
They mistook him for a kid to be mocked at!

Those who saw him play that determined knock,
Knew that he was one of his stock.

He instilled fear in every bowling attack,
None could dare to rest till they saw his back.

Mesmerizing the audience with his majestic strokes,
He was the darling of all cricket-loving folks.

For all these years on the international scene,
He has been the backbone of the Indian Team.

Betting on the opposition would be a risky affair
Specially if the beloved Sachin is out there.

For over a decade and a half he carried a billion hopes,
The ball seemed in a hurry to fly past the ropes!

In recent times we saw his glory wane,
And more too often India has lost the game.

They say that Sachin is a past legend,
But I believe that the journey is still too early to end.

Soon again Sachin will be back to form,
And then no one would dare say that he does not perform.

Soon yet again when he will set the stands ablaze,
The nation will be gripped by a renewed cricketing craze.

India may have crashed out of World Cup two thousand and seven,
But with Sachin around we still nurture the dream of 2-O-eleven!!

Some quotations on our beloved Sachin:

“You might pitch a ball on the off stump and think you have bowled a good ball and he walks across and hits it for two behind midwicket. His bat looks so heavy but he just waves it around like it's a toothpick.”
– Brett Lee, on Sachin Tendulkar’s batting.

“Beneath the helmet, under that unruly curly hair, inside the cranium, there is something we don't know, something beyond scientific measure. Something that allows him to soar, to roam a territory of sport that, forget us, even those who are gifted enough to play alongside him cannot even fathom. When he goes out to bat, people switch on their television sets and switch off their lives”. (Waiting for that moment again!)

The Little Prince

Well.. the book blog series continues! And this time I am writing about a book that, at least superficially, is a book meant for children. But it makes some deeply inspiring philosophical points about life which make it a very enjoyable read.

To add a historical perspective (Courtesy: Wikipedia), The Little Prince was written by Antoine De Saint-Exupery as the French Version, Le Petit Prince, in 1943. The author was a French aviator and mysteriously disappeared during the Second world war. [It is supposed that his plane had crashed into the Mediterranean during the war but there have been speculations that this could have been motivated by a suicidal intent.]

Coming back to the book, it distinguishes the interpretation of life from the point of view of children and grown-ups. Apart from the difference of age that is apparent in these two points of view, the children's point of view is the one which is centred on emotional perceptions (driven by feelings) rather than on the material perceptions (driven by what one can observe and measure) of the grown-ups. The latter point of view is the more objective and logical point of view as accepted by many adults but which unfortunately is heavily centred on prejudices. The children's viewpoint is expressed through the experiences of the author as a child and through those of the little prince as he travels across the different planets.

Being a very small book that can be easily read within one hour, I would rather not go into describing the incidents or characters in the book but rather mention a few striking sentences verbatim from the book. [Read the book yourself when you have an hour to spare.]

1. Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them. Children should always show great forbearance towards grown up people.
Here grown-ups need not necessarily be adults and children need not necessarily be less than thirteen years of age. Rather, a grown-up is someone who has collected a set of experiences in his life and tends to look at the world only through the lens of this experience. Thus he is a captive of his own prejudices and utterly incapable of comprehending a point of view other than his own. In contrast, a child is free from such prejudices. Grownups cannot appreciate abstract ideas such as love, beauty and friendship and would consider someone talking about golf, politics and neckties as a sensible person!

2. Where I live, everything is very small. Straight ahead of him nobody can go very far.
These words were said by the little prince after the author gifted him the drawing of a sheep in an opaque box and the prince was concerned whether the sheep would need a lot of grass to live on! The second sentence just says that one cannot progress too far by just trying to move straight ahead. To experience the richness of life, it is necessary to look around oneself rather than indulging in plans to move straight ahead.

3. I have serious reason to believe that the planet from which the little prince came is the asteroid known as B-612.
A sarcastic comment that tries to throw light on how we spend time paying attention to unnecessary details in life and how an argument based in numbers (reliable or not) tends to command serious attention. Also many a times, our acceptance of an idea stems from how we feel about the person presenting that idea rather than on the merits of the idea itself (The Turkish astronomer example in the book).

4.If you were to say to the grown-ups, "I saw a beautiful house made of rosy bricks, with geraniums in the windows and doves on the roof", they would not be able to get any idea of the house at all. You would have to say to them, "I saw a house that cost $20,000." And they would exclaim, "Oh! What a pretty house that is!"
Something that exposes the ridiculous obsession of people towards figures and statistics. Just as an aside, when I say to people that Tendulkar is a very good cricketer, they refute by saying, "No. He is unnecessarily overrated. Just tell me how many wins he has secured for India?" But I am not free from this obsession either. More often than not I end up saying, "But he has scored the maximum runs in international cricket and also the most number of centuries." Probably the rational thought is too heavily dependent on numbers.

5. Children, watch out for the baobabs!
The baobabs here represent nothing but the bad thoughts that take root in our mind gradually and if un-attended, may grow into rigid thoughts and prejudices which would deprive us of the ability to look at life as it is. The baobabs are very similar to the roses (good thoughts) when they are young and so it takes a discerning and alert mind to spot the differnce.

6. It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
The above line comes when the author finds himself helpless to console the Little Prince who is driven to tears by the author's indifference towards the safety of his flower.

7. "The fact is that I did not know how to understand anything. I ought to have judged by deeds and not by words.She cast her fragrance and radiance over me. I ought never to have run away from her. I ought to have guessed all the affection that lay behind her poor little stratagems. Flowers are so inconsistent. But I was too young to know how to love her."
Coming in the form of the little prince's mulling over his experience with his flower, it is a subtle reminder of how we should not try to interpret too much from the external behaviour of the flowers, especially in a relationship.

8. "What a queer planet! It is altogether dry and altogether pointed and altogether harsh and altogether forbidding. And people here have no imagination. They repeat whatever one says to them. On my planet, I had a flower. She was always the first one to speak."
These innocent thoughts of the prince after hearing the echoes from the mountains on earth very subtly ridicule the social structure that exists here, where people are forever engaged in behaving in a manner that pleases others around them and expect the same from others.

9. One only understands the things that one tames. It is an act too often neglected. It means to establish ties.
The fox says these words and goes on to explain what it means to tame someone. It is this act of taming that makes someone special and different from rest of the world. More details about this in the book. :-)

10. And finally my favorite quote, "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."
This is the secret that the fox shares with the little prince at the time of the latter's departure. It's beauty will be evident after thinking it over again and again.

Apart from these top 10, there are numerous other simple thoughts scattered throughout the book. Specially the experience of the prince on each of the six planets (or asteroids) before he comes to earth. But I will leave you to explore these by reading the book yourself.:-)

And now, I think it is time to put a full stop to this blog post which has already out-grown its size. But when I sit down to write blogs on topics like this one or the Fountainhead, I simply cannot stop the flow. Finally, a word of appreciation for those readers who had the patience to read through these mostly unorganized thoughts that never allow my mind to remain unoccupied. And there will be a lot more writings here in the days to come.

CATchy moments..

The new year had set in. The day of decisioning had dawned. Since 12 midnight on Jan 1, I was eagerly waiting for the CAT results that were supposed to be announced on Jan 2. In spite of this being my second attempt, last time the attempt was only half-serious and so the excitement was essentially non-existent. Back then, I had checked my results only a day after they were announced... Not this time round though. So now, here I was wasting my time just refreshing the various CAT discussion forum pages to find out whether some good soul had found the link and posted it for all of us. But that was not to be. No specific time for the declaration of results being specified, it was an ideal breeding ground for rumors. Some people even took advantage of that to extract some fun by simply posting bogus links, much to the dismay of everyone else. I was irritated, bored and that uneasiness and uncertainity was simply unbearable. So, at 2:30am I simply decided that the limit was reached. No more would I spend my time on such useless stuff. And as Ted had said in the series How I Met your Mother (for those who have not already watched this serial, it is definitely worth a watch and the concept is very creative); "Nothing good happens after 2:30am!" :P

The next day, I got up and was quite hopeful that the results would be out by 9am but no! No news either... Everyone was just cursing the IIMs... And rightly so.. At least they should put up some notice about when the results will be declared. Are they not aware that there are more than 1.75 lakh students out there waiting for one silly link?

After waiting for as long as 4pm (and also having a light lunch since I had lost my appetite), finally news came in that the coveted link was out ... And IIMK was the first one to oblige. But alas! The site was already down by the time I tried using the link! Finally when I did get to see the result what a sense of relief it was! I felt being in a dreamworld! I had expected to do well but this was more than I had expected. This was what I had only hoped for! Could this really be true... The next few hours I lived in a reverie. I spoke with a lot of friends and relatives and it was a wonderful feeling. Similar to the moment when I had heard about getting through the JEE. Though in this case, the battle had just begun. Still there was the crucial stage of GD/PI to pass through.

But then, I thought that I should suspend all thought about the future and enjoy the present moment. Because it was the most wonderful present that I had received :-) And I think such moments of success are the ones that are remembered the most since they are the meeting point of your dreams and reality. But rather than being disappointed or getting too carried away by such deciding moments, I feel that the journey towards your goal is the real success and not whether or not you finally reach that goal. And that is why it is essential that you put in your best effort when the time is appropriate. Agreed that the ultimate outcome may not truly reflect your efforts (some people who succeeded might not have prepared as much as you have) but ultimately, you are definitely much better placed to succeed if you have put in that extra bit. Efforts may not guarantee you success but definitely improve the odds that you do. After all, preparation can only take you so far. In the end, what you will need is a few leaps of faith.

The Fountainhead

Some books are ageless. They deal with subjects and ideas that cut across physical and temporal limits and leave behind a profound influence on their readers. The Fountainhead is one such book. It took me 25 days to complete reading it (since i generally used to find time only on weekends) but it has completely transformed my thought process.

I had heard a lot of praise about the book from some of my friends and in spite of the contents appearing quite rebellious to me, I knew that I had to read it. I had also read a lot of negative comments about the book on a few orkut groups and this had only raised my curiosity. I was wondering what my opinion about the book would be and I was willing to understand the philosophy of Objectivism with an open mind.

And now, I think that it is one of the most spectacular literary work that I have read. The central characters that Ayn Rand has created and their interaction with each other has enabled me to address a lot of concerns about my own values and principles as well as the ideas of others around me. And I simply loved the philosophical ponderings in solitude after reading the book!

I will try to organize my thoughts by mulling over the main characters in the book:
(Note: The book is set in the 1920-30s and deals with people in the architectural discipline)
1. Peter Keating: A very successful student at school and college, who comes from a mediocre family, and feeling a sense of personal pride at what he has achieved in spite of his modest beginnings. He is offered a job at a leading architectural firm (Francon & Heyer). Although he seems to be enjoying all the limelight and attention that he is getting, somewhere deep down, he feels that he left his passion for painting and substituted it with architecture which was more lucrative. He tries to believe that he must be happy because everyone around him thinks that he is a good architect and there is seemingly nothing that he can complain about in how his career is taking shape. He is en route to become one of the most famous architects in New York. But his outer confidence and success are totally dependent on others and their approval. He is nothing himself but merely a reflection of the Peter Keating that exists in the eyes of others. Although he takes advice from his friend Howard Roark on various architectural assignments, he likes to believe that they are his own and does not want to accept that Roark is a better architect than he is. Roark's total indifference towards others' opinions and having an opinion about others confuses Peter and and the latter always finds himself uneasy thinking about Roark.
2. Catherine Halsey: She is Peter's girlfriend, and loves Peter without accepting anything in return. She is frail and lacks self-confidence and finds it easier to surrender herself completely to Peter. Even if Peter does not call her or meet her for months together, she does not refer to it the next time they meet and is always accepting whatever Peter has to say. Peter loves her very much but is afraid that his mother would not approve of their marriage since she is neither rich nor has the quality to be the wife of a famous architect (according to Peter's mother). Catherine does not even complain when Peter marries another woman after promising to marry her just the previous day. She gives herself to serving the poor and physically challenged people in some orphanage. She believes that she is living a very noble life by serving the poor and accepts that living for others is the only appropriate way of living. She fails to understand that the real reason why she loves to be in the company of the less privileged is because it gives her own self a sense of being better off than others and that she has the ability to confer good upon others with an air of superiority. She is a person who sincerely believes in the principle of selflessness and spending a lifetime for the cause of others.
3. Guy Francon: The owner of the reputed architectural firm Francon & Heyer; Guy has been a very successful architect (at least in the public domain). He spots Peter as a budding architect and offers him a job at his firm. In spite of the huge reputation he has built in his career, Guy still wants Peter to testify that his life has been successful and thus he too depends on external recognition for his satisfaction.
4. Ellsworth Toohey: Ellsworth is the antagonist in the novel (of course; as portrayed by Rand). He is more of an architectural commentator who wants to establish an intellectual superiority over the world. Since school, he believes in the power of the brain over muscles and uses his superior mental capacity to deal with his physically stronger opponents. He believes that the Napoleons of the world; who wanted to establish military supremacy over the world were fools and true sustainable control over the world can only be achieved by ruling the minds of the people. He is always in the news as a benign person who has true understanding of art and architecture. He uses this position of strength to bring forth mediocre talent in the world and suppress any genius in the field (prominently Howard Roark). He promotes the philosophy of collectivism as opposed to individualism. He is a person who enjoys killing of talent and establishing the supremacy of mediocrity over ingenuity. Ellsworth is uncle to Catherine and promotes Peter's architecture over Howard's (will be discussed later) and in a later dialogue with Peter expresses his shocking philosophy and how he wants to put an end to any emerging talent in any field of art or literature.
5. Steven Mallory: Steven was a talented young sculptor but someone who did not have the mental strength to stand the world which preferred to praise mediocrity over his talent. He tried once to kill Ellsworth. He believed Ellsworth to be the symbol of this monster within humans that found it more comfortable to uphold the average over the extra-ordinary. He designed Dominique's statue in the Temple of Human Spirit and was a friend to Howard and Dominique. He was a symbol of talent that was somehow unable to protect itself against the mediocrity-blinded common people.
6. Dominique Francon: She is the daughter of Guy Francon and the female protagonist in the novel. She is aware about the falsehood of the social life that her father lives in and positively hates to be a part of it. She is very uncomfortable with the double standards that people display in social circles. Dominique meets Howard Roark at a granite quarry and falls in love with him. She loves his sense of self and the sheer lack of love or hatred in his actions. She surrenders herself to Roark who treats her neither with love nor with humiliation. Dominique becomes fond of Roark's architectures and how his buildings stand on their own and not as borrowed patchworks from earlier eras. Dominique is the naked statue that is kept in the Temple of Human Spirit (built by Roark) and this temple is nothing but a ploy by Ellsworth to leave Howard defeated in a legal battle. Dominique marries Peter out of her love for Howard and to show that she is suffering along with him in her own way. Dominique is one of the few people who approve of Howard's adherence to his ideals and disregard of what others think about him.
7. Gail Wynand: Gail is the owner of the popular newsgroup known as "the Banner". He is a person who has risen from the slums to become a very prominent figure in New York. Although he is capable of appreciating talent and does not have ulterior motives unlike Toohey; he wants to destroy any evidence of talent by bringing it to his submission. He feels that the life he is living is worthless and thinks quite often of committing suicide. He finds the statue of Dominique (through Ellsworth) and later meets her and wants to marry her. He trades a very crucial contract with Peter at the cost of Dominique. Later he meets Roark as the architect of the Temple of Human Spirit and tries hard to break him. The three (Dominique, Gail and Howard) spend a lot of time together with Howard and Dominique both maintaining silence about their earlier lives. Gail likes Roark a lot and spends a lot of time trying to understand himself better. Later, when Roark is accused in a case where he has blown up a public housing construction, Gail uses all his failing social clout to try and defend Roark against the public opinion (controlled by Toohey) and finds that something which he considered his strength was no more than an illusion.
8. Howard Roark: The undisputed protagonist of the novel. The proponent of the concept of objectivism and individualism. He is a genius architect who was expelled from school because he refused to follow any existing ways of architecture. After being expelled, he had a rough career and worked only for clients who were willing to allow him to work as he wanted to. He never designed buildings just for the sake of others and generally refused to work if his clients suggested any changes in his designs. This severely restricted the number of contracts that he could get but in spite of the financial hardships that he faced, Roark never let go his principles. He frequently helped Keating with designs but never expected to get the public praise out of them. He believed that each building that he designed must have a specific purpose and must exist an one entity rather than a patchwork of architectural styles from various eras. He was against the idea of reaching a compromise by discussion in a group and refused to work in a team with other architects. Roark was an atheist and built the temple of Human Spirit to enshrine the supreme power of the human mind. He had designed a public housing system for Keating (who had approached him for help in a desperate situation) with the condition that Keating must ensure that the building was designed exactly as per the design by Howard. However, because of external pressure, Keating was not able to live up to his promise and significant alterations in Howard's design were introduced. Consequently, with the help of Dominique, Howard blew off the half-complete structure being erected and allowed himself to be identified. His speech in the court while defending himself essentially summarizes the philosophy of Objectivism.

Now that I have given a brief description of the principal characters, I will move ahead to the philosophical aspects of the novel. Firstly , I find Fountainhead as a very sincere novel which tries to explain the fallacies of the rising force of Socialism and Communism during its time. How often has one heard the words "Man is a social animal" which try to emphasize the importance of society in human life and remind you that you owe a responsibility of returning the favors bestowed by the society. Since childhood, what we are taught is that greed is bad and one must always put the benefit of others over that of the self. But now that seems like a big conspiracy wherein the individuality of the self is being suppressed under the collective will. Till now, like many others, I used to believe that the failure of Communism lay in its mode of implementation and not in its ideology. But now, I realize that some concepts of communism destroy the very motivation for innovation and that is to see one's ideas take place (which is a very selfish feeling). [Though most of the communist nations have collapsed indicating possibly that capitalism is more appropriate as compared to communism; prominent countries that continue to excel with communism are China and Cuba (but an analysis of these is beyond the scope of the blog at least at the moment!)]

To quote Roark from the final speech.. "The unsubmissive and first human stands at the opening of chapter of every legend that mankind has recorded about its beginning. Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision. No creator was prompted by a desire to serve his brothers, for his brothers rejected the gift he offered and that gift destroyed the slothful routine of their lives. His truth was his only motive. The creators were not selfless. It is the whole secret of their power - that it was self-sufficient, self-motivated and self-generated. The mind is an attribute of the individual. There is no such thing as a collective mind or a collective thought. We can divide a meal among many men but we cannot digest it in a collective stomach. The creator's concern is the conquest of nature. The parasite's concern is the conquest of men." Some of these thoughts are best represented as they have been in the book and so the direct quotation. To think about it, the concept of equality has been mis-interpreted over the ages. Instead of being the equality of opportunities it has been interpreted as the equality of the final outcomes. If two people get the same outcome irrespective of their individual efforts, it means nothing but that efforts do not affect outcome. This is where most communist nations failed that they tried to equalize what each person got instead of providing them with equal opportunities. So it is very essential that talent be given its own space to flourish and should not be fettered by the requirement to adhere to common will. In this regard, I feel that democracy is far from the best form of governance because it operates on the concept of majority but then this would demand a separate post to deal with it.

But one thing that I don't find appropriate is that Roark says that it is alright to inherit the products of the ideas (like wheel, fire, etc) from earlier generations to build on them but is against the sharing of ideas in a group amongst contemporaries. As pointed out in one of the comments, the end product of a thought can be an idea (in the sense that it is not a physical object; examples could be the theories that have been developed in different sciences) and hence can be inherited. But at the same time the sharing of ideas among contemporaries is considered to be a dilution of the original idea. But is it really necessary that the original idea be the the most perfect? Why do you have to believe that any suggestion made by another human being living in our age must be detrimental to the idea? That is nothing but arrogance and this is one of the principal reasons why the word "ego" has a bad connotation today. I think the sharing of ideas among men is extremely important for humanity to move ahead. A discussion helps very much to enhance and improve upon an idea (just see how the comment has improved this blog) but only the urge to try and reach a consensus should be done away with.. And the main reason for this is that we attach a feeling of belongingness to an idea. So this part of the ego is something which is a hindrance to progress. People try to defend their idea and attack the idea of another in a discussion. This is where the need for a consensus to resolve the issue sets in. I think an idea in a discussion must be only seen as the object of study and interest for all rather than associating it with its source. But inherently a thought is put forward beginning with "I think" (a ready example being the previous sentence) and so it gets difficult to dis-associate the originator from the idea. However, if this dis-association is consciously followed it will help us evaluate the idea better and probably refine it as well. Perhaps the concept of parallel thinking rather than argumentative thinking would help.

Another positive thing from Fountainhead is that it attacks the concept of charity and pity. And rightly so. The concept of charity itself requires someone to be an object of that charity (which is quite ironic). This so-called virtue fails to exist in the absence of such an object (or person). As Howard Roark reflects "There must be something terribly wrong with a world in which this monstrous feeling (of pity) is called a virtue." Pity not only destroys the self-respect of an individual but also makes the person submissive to fate. The person decides that it is more comfortable to keep begging rather than to earn a living through self-effort. [Some people claim that begging itself is an art and it involves effort to convince the giver to shell out money but I believe there would be no givers if they knew that it was a voluntary activity and in that case it would be impossible for these beggars to exist.] Showing pity destroys the human mind and people show pity for what? Because they feel guilty that they have accumulated more wealth than fellow humans? If that wealth is acquired through effort and by just means there is no need to feel guilty about it.

Moreover, the different personality that people want to portray in public as opposed to what they really are is something very much unnecessary because at every point of making a choice we would add the unnecessary dimension of how that decision would affect our portrayal in the eyes of others. The best and most natural thing to do in public is BE YOURSELF. But in this respect, I believe there are some who go to the extent of portraying in public that they are themselves. (what an irony!)

Also, at some point in the book, Dominique says that the concept of immortality can be thought of only in the case of Roark because he is like a monolith and unchanging. People usually change so often that they die every moment. So the concept of immortality can never exist in the case of such people. So does Rand believe that changing is a vice? I don't agree. Because changing and learning is an essential part of human existence. If there were no motivation to improve the way we were and to learn from experiences what worth would life be? And unless you have an open mind it would be like staying in a closed room for all your life devoid of the refreshing air outside. In this case, I believe that we need to move from the concept of rock logic to water logic. That is, our logic must not be rigid like a rock but capable of adapting to different situations like water. And it is this water that can cut its path through the rigid mountains to achieve its goal of reaching the sea.

I believe it has been a very very long post and I myself am tired of writing more. There may be many more cases and instances from the book that may need discussion but I believe it is best to stop here. So right or wrong, whether you accept Rand's ideas or reject them, you definitely cannot afford to ignore them! I hope I have given you enough food for thought and in case you have still not read The Fountainhead; what are you waiting for???

One year ago....

It was one year ago, on the 20th of November 2005, that I had written my first blog... and the feeling was great! Just after writing the CAT and having the feeling that I would just about miss getting calls (the feeling turned into reality!) ... And now, yesterday was my second attempt at the CAT... Much more prepared and confident this time... and as expected, the CAT did throw some unexpected surprises.. Not much enthu to delve into them at this time..

The journey from last year on the blogosphere was very entertaining and exciting.. accompanied by loads of new experiences.. Putting down your feelings and experiences always gives shape to all those amorphous thoughts and turbulence in my mind and brain... and it feels that i am sharing a part of me with myself (or the chance reader who happens to read my blog) .. helps a great deal in getting over solitude and releasing any pent up discontent and frustration or even any sort of euphoria and keeping the mind light and free..

So, the past year for me has been rich with experiences and things have changed a lot. And the blogspot has always been like a place to take rest and contemplate on the events around me... Will look forward to blogging more often since the last few days have kept me busy and even I am completing this post way after 20th of November... My brain says "storage capacity reached".. so i will have to purge some of my thoughts...

The Great Indian Pie

The first of November is a good day to be in Bangalore... Its the Karnataka Rajyostav Diwas... 5o years ago, the Kannada speaking territories were united into the Mysore state (later renamed as Karnataka)... this marks a special occasion for all the people out here and it was amply evident from the yellow and red stripes of the Karnataka flag, proudly displayed on most auto-rikshaws and in shops... It was wonderful to watch the upbeat mood on the roads and to add to it, we had a holiday today!! God, how great it feels to have a holiday on wednesday!

This being a special day for us (and the rest of Karnataka); we got the idea of making it truly memorable... and memorable it was!!

For the first time after coming to bangalore, we took to the kitchen and decided that it was time that we had some home-made food... :P

So began the enthusiasm to make rotis at home (fostered by ravi having a roti-maker with him)... We started off with gathering the necessary apparatus and ingredients for our experiment with Dasu acting as the Head Chef... He was the only one amongst us four (the other two being Nagota and Ravi) who had prior experience cooking rotis... So after a brief interview he was recruited as Head Chef by the rest of us....:D

Thus began this adventurous experiment; as Dasu started preparing the dough (and having a tough time getting the right proportion of dough and water :P) and I placed the first roti to be made in the roti-maker. We were expecting the top plate of the roti maker to rise on its own when the roti was cooked but that was not to be.. After some more speculation we thought about finding out for ourselves what had happened to our first roti.. and that was when we realized that it had changed color to dark brown and was as hard as wood.. but nevertheless, we made an effort to taste it and also found that it was delicious! We concluded that we had made a food product never before envisioned by humanity and proudly named it as the Great Indian Pie.

We were so thrilled by our invention that we took a video of the same and also made plans for having a startup in this area. But first, we will have to go ahead and patent this product so that no others can steal our innovation. After trying a couple of more times to make the more conventional roti, we concluded that there was something wrong with the roti maker and we would rather use the cooking gas to make our tandoori rotis. And we succeeded at that! Within an hour, we had made 16 world class tandoori rotis which could easily replace the ones served in most of the restaurants in Bangalore. Though we had a tough time maintaining the circular geometry of the roti, we thought that not making it circular was another innovation and we could actually make irregularly shaped rotis and popularize it as a fashion (the customers in the restuarants would find it thrilling to guess how the roti that they would be served would look like!!)

So, after one hour of dedicated effort and after making rajma and dal fry, we were ready to have our first home-made dinner in Bangalore. We also had some sweets to celebrate our triumph. And of course, it was one of the most filling and satiating dinner we ever had! Soon, our food chain would take over every corner of every city and town in India and that is when our talent would truly achieve the recognition it deserves...

The video of our achievement could be viewed on google video (I cannot post the link here since I am writing this from office and I am unable to open any email from here..) by searching for The Great Indian Pie in the genre Art and Entertainment.

Cast: Sabby (that's me), Dasu.
Special Fx: Nagota.
Behind the lens: Ravi.

So sit back and enjoy!

Chennai or Chain-nahi??

After being for two months in Bangalore, me and my friends had decided that it was time that we used the weekends in a more fruitful way.. by exploring South India.. All of us had the first opportunity to do so... So at dinner on Thursday night, I proposed that we go to Chennai for the weekend, one of the vertices of the Great Quadrilateral!

Even an hour before actually leaving Bangalore, we were unsure about what mode of transport we will be using. And this type of impromptu decision-making associated with traveling makes it so much exciting. When one sits down and plans for a trip, there is a certain expectation-level associated with the trip and we need to live up to that expectation. But for back-packers, any experience actually increases the value of the trip over the expected value (which is essentially zero).

So, we left home to go the Majestic Bus Stand in Bangalore at around 10pm on friday. After reaching the bus stand, we were totally dumb-founded. Not knowing the local language and finding that all boards on the buses were in Dravidian script left us moving around in circles when we were directed (or mis-directed) by a series of people. Finally we were able to locate the section where buses left for Chennai. But bad luck! There were no seats available and the private buses were charging too much... So we decided to use the Indian Railways for our journey.. And without a second thought, we got the tickets for the general compartment on the Guwahati Express which was scheduled just 15 min later. After desperate running around we did find the general compartment but it turned out to be occupied by military personnel! It was actually a blessing in disguise since they allowed us to enter and then closed the gates so that we were the only ones sitting at the door in the general compartment...

After some sleepless hours and attempts to pass time by playing cards, we finally reached Chennai Central! Since we surprisingly reached half an hour in advance (has the management of Indian Railways changed?) We decided to celebrate our arrival in Chennai with tea in a "High Class" hotel... but found that it was devoid of sugar. Thinking that this was the type of tea that people out there drank, we drank it all only to find sugar left at the bottom of the cup! (Atleast they should provide spoons if they find it too much to stir the tea!)

Notorious as the Chennai auto-wallahs are for charging exorbitant rates, we played it safe and got a prepaid auto to IIT main gate! We looked at awe as we passed the beautiful Mariana beach and were simply awestruck by its length! It seemed to be go on forever! We thought that we as we had reached IIT at 7am and my friend would most probably be asleep at that time, we could as well walk from the main gate to his hostel (saraswati or saras for short), a decision that we repented later as we had to walk a whole 4km after having a sleepless night in the train. We were very excited when we first saw the deer in IITM and took many pictures only to later realise that they were as abundant as the cattle back home in IITB!

Next after shocking shyam, who was in deep slumber and could not believe that we had actually come to chennai (he had thought that i was just making unrealistic plans), we went to Tiffany's (which is a fav hangout for iit junta since its located inside the girls hostel Shravati :D) and had a very delicious masala dosa.. After moving around for some time, we came back to shyam's room and dozed off!!

Later in the afternoon, we thought of moving out from iit but the sweltering heat was a bit too much... after having some biryani at a decent place, we set out on the baked streets of Chennai.. all the time we were looking for points which would help brand chennai a metro or a non-metro..
I met my sister and her friend (whose name i could not gather :D) and we explored some of the jungles of the iit campus... these were places which even shyam had not explored in his three years of stay at the campus... In the evening we went to the Besantnagar beach (which according to my sister was a good beach but then it didnt look like.. with all the litter and being crowded in the evening it was a kind of letdown.. ) it was also my first experience to travel in a south indian local bus (i hadnt done so even in bangalore) and well the less said the better about it... since we were just standing at the door and had to alight at every stop to let people get in and out..

there was not much to do in the evening and we spent some time in a ccd and ate some pizza before coming back to iit... on the way we just thought about getting into Dollars and Pounds (a clothes shop).. it was worth mentioning since it was one of the few cool places (literally i mean) in chennai... then we finally made our way back to Saras and found ourselves really drained out from our day out in Chennai...

The next day, we had two main targets to achieve, one the Birla Planetarium and two, the Mariana beach.. (actually there is not much to move about in Chennai and i realised why people were shocked when i told them that i was planning to go to chennai for sight-seeing).. But as always, the weather was hostile to travelling and we were soon finding us dehydrated.. We spent some time in the Birla Planetarium and the science gallery adjacent to it (which was quite average and not as great as the Vishweshvaraya Museum back in Bangalore)... actually at many points in the trip we implicitly made comparisons with Bangalore and found that we were quite lucky to stay in Bangalore rather than in Chennai! The four of us had a good time in the science gallery and clicked some pics with machines which seemed to come from a different era.. but it was an hour well spent and more importantly protected from the scorching sun!! Later we watched the planetarium show which was supposedly designed for standard V kids but once again it was a relief to enjoy the cool AC inside the auditorium.

Later we made our way through the crowded streets of T.Nagar and also went shopping. Later after having pav bhaji and ajmer halwa for lunch, we made our way through the vegetable market to Shyam's house. After spending some time there, we set out to achieve our last target in Chennai (which was the Marina beach) and again used the local bus for transport. But this time, Shyam had left back for iit and so we were all on our own with no Tamil-speaking person to guide us! Fortunately, we found a Hindi speaking fellow on the bus who helped us get down at the right bus stop and then we were enjoying the evening at one of the longest beaches in the world!

The Mariana beach would have been the most beautiful beach in the world, if only the government would have taken the effort to put in some dust-bins and the people would have cared to keep it litter free.. Nevertheless, its grandness was a wonderful sight and we enjoyed the couple of hours that we spent there... And now, it was time for us to go back to Bangalore (Oh! what a relief!) Aware about our weakness of not being able to speak in Tamil, we decided to play it safe and hire an auto from the Chennai Central station (which on the map seemed to be quite close by but turned out to be atleast a half an hour walk from the beach) .. But we could get an auto to the bus stand which was diametrically opposite the railway station and soon were at our destination. But we found that the auto driver who was supposed to charge us Rs. 75 returned back only 10 Rs in exchange for 100.. this resulted in a verbal duel between the three of us and the auto driver but we knew that it was a useless effort...

Finally after cursing Chennai some more, we got a seat in the driver's cabin of a bus for 300 bucks each... (actually speaking that was the best bet for us since we would anyway have had to take the ticket because of the cash crunch and no signs of a Citibank ATM..) After waiting for about an hour and feeding on biscuits in the meantime, we finally boarded the bus and were on our way back to bangalore... How nice it felt!! And what more? there were three other people giving us company in that small cabin in addition to the driver! But on the positive side, the driver played some hindi songs and it felt so soothing to hear them after a hectic day in the metro (so-called) Chennai...

At 6 am the next day we were back in Bangalore and it felt like paradise.. We soon made our way back home and crashed off...

Dnyanam Paramam Dhyeyam

I had awaited the last weekend since the time I had joined my job in bangalore... Though I have stayed away from Mumbai for longer periods of time, I had never felt as homesick; probably because I had known exactly how much time there was to return back to Mumbai... But after joining the job, parting with Mumbai for an uncertain period of time had made me instantly homesick and I was awaiting the convocation on 11th August, an excuse to catch up with Mumbai for a few days....

And flying back from Bangalore, I had an upbeat feeling... Meeting my family and friends and coming back to Mumbai with my first salary... Though the waiting time was extended by delayed Air Deccan flight (they seem to say we are sorry for the delay and inconvenience as a matter of habit), it was wonderful to land in Mumbai at 2am in the morning and go straight to IIT, the place where I had spent and enjoyed the last four years of my life and made some wonderful friends for life...

Meeting with old friends and spending the night chitchatting about life and new events made us forget time until we realised it was 6am in the morning and we ought to sleep so that we can remain awake during the convocation ceremony.. :D

The convocation ceremony went about quite well and I have lost count of the number of hugs I had during the time... receiving the degree on stage was a special feeling and a moment to cherish... The pledge that followed later was something special to me and I sincerely hope that every IITian is able to live up to it... Singing the national anthem in the convocation hall made me aware of my responsibility to our society and I hope I can give something back to India through my life and career...

The evening was spent with my special friends and wingmates and we had a memorable time loitering around in our convocation dress in Galleria, HN and then going to CCD in Huma...

We returned and spent a couple of hours close to nature at the Boathouse near Powai Lake and it was a night well-spent... I felt that I should have visited the place more often during my stay at the insti... But then, it is the absence of something that makes us realize its value...

The convocation time is really the last time that we had to meet with our college friends and many will soon be flying to the US of A for further studies... Still others like me will get back to the job they have joined and will be back in their quest to build a successful career.. One line that comes to mind at this stage is the definition of success (which varies from person to person certainly) as seen on a tantra tshirt... "Success is not having to wear a suit all your life!"

Well, whatever the definition of success be for each one of us, I hope that we don't forget the line that describes our alma mater, that is, Dnyanam paramam dhyeyam (knowlegde is the ultimate goal!)

Returning to Mumbai!

Yes! finally its time to go back to Mumbai! The city of dreams! My homeplace since I was born... Just 40 days away from Mumbai and I have felt homesick like never before... And now, within the next 24 hours I will be back to Mumbai... I am very much looking forward to meeting my family and friends out there...

It is my convocation time... The four years at IIT flew like moments and I still vividly remember many of the JEE times and the zeal to stick out even till day-break to crack some problem... The joy of cracking one of the toughest exams for undergraduate admission, the counselling time, the first day at insti.. I had got sick the first week in campus and still am unaware of the exact cause for that.. :P (even the doctors at hospi could not figure that out, but then many ppl from IIT would not be surprised at that)

All the time spent at the insti doing (and not doing) a lot of things was the most memorable part of my life... The friends that I made at campus are like jewels to cherish for life.. I desperately miss their company now; while I am at my job in Bangalore... The next few days will allow me to relive those wonderful moments spent at campus, and soon, I will be a B.Tech. from IIT Bombay (Chemical Engineering, also deserves a mention here.. :P though my job is no way related to it, but the dept has given me some very good friends)...

I don't know when again I will be able to spend time with these friends... Life is already getting monotonous and boring with the office environment (though I also have some good friends here) and I will certainly miss the insti and hostel life...

But at the moment, my thoughts are set towards the next five days that I will be spending in the City of Dreams... Aamchi Mumbai!

26/7

This was the day when Mumbai was subjected to the wrath of the rain-gods... 944mm of rain in just a day's time... and it was also the day when i returned to India from my PT... i marginally missed being stranded amongst the crowd who was unable to make their way home, be it by road, rail or air... today the incident has completed 1 year... but we people hardly care.. the so-called resilience of Mumbai in time of adversity is nothing but disguised indifference... but then does anyone care??

The mystery of destiny...

How often do things happen in our lives which are not according to what we expect them to be? and then someone consoles us by saying that "This was bound to happen. It was predestined." From my discussions on this issue with my friends, I have seen that some people are strongly opposed to the conecpt of destiny. And this is because it sort of takes away the power of choice from the person. But what I would say is that they were predestined to oppose the concept of destiny... :D

One major point of clarification in this concept of destiny, which is usually held by critics against this concept, is that if everything is predestined, then we are not required to do anything and just wait for everything to happen as it is destined to be. However, this is not what the concept of destiny says. It does not tell u to stop performing ur daily tasks and wait for things to happen. Instead, what it says is that although it appears to us that we have a choice to make from different possible options, the one choice that we will choose is predestined and the universe is set to move according to that choice. Thus, what appears to us as possible options are just that.. possibilities! So, in order to follow the path of destiny, we must do what we are required to do and not bother about results that do not go our expected way...

Well, I would have loved to delve deep into the outcomes of my discussion, specially with Mohit, but since Mohit is planning to come up with a book on our conclusions, he is of the opinion that uncovering the mystery in this blog would affect the sale of his book, which is bound to be a bestseller whenever it hits the racks...

So, for the time being, you will have to wait for us to find the time to write down our thoughts in the form of a book to actually understand this mystery. :P

Kaun kehta hai ladke bida nahi hote?

NOTE: This msg was to be completed long ago but then somehow it just was left incomplete... so now i am getting the time to complete it.. and that was because there were some wonderful remarks on my blog which have inspired me to write more.. and as the saying goes... better late than never...

It was the 20th of June.. two of my best friends were embarking on a new life... Mohit had his first day at Ugam Solutions and Shastry was all set to scale new heights with the Indian Airlines flight to Abu Dhabi... so me and mohit had planned to say farewell to Shastry at the Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport... Mohit had a long and rough journey back to iit from his office in mahalaxmi and to add to it, it was also raining that evening... so we thought that the best way to reach the airport was to take an auto... we discussed Mohit's first day at office in the auto and both of us were realizing that things are going to change pretty soon... Within a few days I was to leave for bangalore (which was about six months back, my last back up :P) and mohit was desperately in search of a place to stay near office so that he could do away with travelling daily... Anyways we hardly realized as the auto made its way through the evening traffic and we were soon at the airport waiting for Shastry to arrive...

But Shastry was caught up in the traffic and we didn't have much to do in the meantime, so our discussion took a philosophical drift (as usual) and we began to discuss the relation between choice and destiny... Regarding these discussions we have had since our second year, had we documented them, we would have had a manuscript for a bestseller ready by now... :D But the details of the discussion definitely deserve a separate article...

Finally after some running around to locate the exact terminal from where Shastry was departing we finally reached there and met his parents and some fellow friends from TeamSwades (Sachin and Akshat)... and after a few moments of waiting, we found him! There he was; our dear friend, about to take a big leap in life... such moments are the ones that stay with you for a long time... Shastry was as usual in a lot of nbd regarding how he should describe his trip, since he didn't have an employment visa... but as the moments passed by, we knew that we would not be seeing each other for atleast the next two months (hoping that he would come back for the convo)..

And then the ultimate moment arrived, when Shastry said good-bye to each one of us individually (or so we thought until that moment repeated itself all over again twice).. Knowing him for the last six years atleast, it was no surprise that Shastry's feet were rooted to the ground and he was finding it difficult to grasp the enormity of the situation, leaving his family, his friends, his country for the first time to go to a foreign land.. and though he didnt actually cry, we knew that his heart was crying at this critical juncture in his life... he was very much moved by the gift given to him by Sachin and Akshat, which carried the photo of his icon, the great MK Gandhi... and that was when Mohit remarked.. "Kaun kehta hai ladke bida nahi hote?".. and I knew that it was so very true...
Soon, Shastry looked at us one last time and was soon gone to build his career... which undoubtedly would be an illustrious one... I wish him all the very best in his career... and I am sure he would come back to India to live the dream of TeamSwades...

Living in the past..

The last few days have been somewhat like living the older days once again.. And that has been because I have been meeting so many of my older friends. I had finally packed off from IIT and was enjoying my stay back home. And with that, I also got to be in the company of some of my best buddies from school and college.

I now feel that I am really indebted to Orkut because it finally got me back in touch with one of my best friends from school.. Aseem. I had never known his whereabouts since the past five years and was wondering how life would have turned out for him. But then a couple of weeks back, he added me on orkut and we could get to meet each other! What a great time it was... I went over to his place and we spent an evening together reliving the memories from the good old school days. The various experiences from college that we shared also brought back genuine smiles to our faces.

Then next was meeting up with my Standard X class teacher (Mrs. Nathan).. someone who had taught me since standard VIII and has played a pivotal role in shaping the way I think and feel... I was always impressed by the balance of kindness and agression in her teaching and few teachers have been able to strike that balance... She was a master when it came to teaching English Grammar... and having her as a class teacher in Std X also allowed her to leave a permanent mark on my moral values... When I and Arvind met her, she was still the same self that she was six years ago and we had a very memorable discussion on various social and moral issues...

This meeting was soon followed up by the Sathaye College Reunion... something that I was really skeptical about... since I hardly had many fond memories of Sathaye (we hardly used to attend college and most of the time during junior college was spent in coaching classes)... But Prajakta had called me up and her enthusiasm for the Reunion could not have met with a negative answer from my side.. Though she was confident that atleast 15 ppl would turn up, we finally ended up with only 9 ppl... just having a dinner at RK (Ramakrishna Restaurant, the fav hangout place for Sathaye ppl) and discussed many experiences from college... Though I was atleast saved from the embarassment of not recognizing any one, I had difficulty recalling a few names.. after all we had hardly interacted during college.... but it soon turned out to be a very good experience as we got to know each other and shared experiences from undergrad life.... We ended up by having softy at the SoftyBar (another fav place for Sathaye gang) and thanks to Arvind, we had some snaps as a memory of this most unlikely reunion for me (i was rather expecting a school reunion and not a college reunion, but the former seems uncertain as of now)...

Through all these times, I have also been enjoying the FIFA World Cup and have now have some basic literacy in football to indulge in the normal discussions among friends... also I have gained some amount of interest in F1 and am looking forward to the Canada Grand Prix... :-)

These few days spent in reliving the past have spurred up nostalgic feelings and I am now feeling more and more sad about leaving these wonderful carefree days behind and entering the new phase of life that beckons me just round the corner... the employed life!

Finally I am done...

Finally on the 10th of June 2006, I moved out from the Indian Institute of Technology Bombay... :( I had finally come to the end of the road... The wonderful four year journey, that began on the 18th of July 2002 with the insti orientation programme, is now over... with a few letters added against my name... and loads of memories to carry away with me....

At this point, thinking back about the time when I first came to IITB, I find that life didnt exactly turn out as I had thought it would... sometimes for the good, sometimes for the worse... But it has been an enriching journey indeed... I now realise that the four years of undergraduate life are the most valuable years, where u come across so many diverse acquaintances and gather so many experiences... I just can't imagine the enormity of the impact that IIT life has had on me... from the transformation into a nocturnal creature to the changed attitude towards life, it has been a total metamorphosis for me... and apart from that, I have been lucky enough to gain the company of so many friends that this has alone made my life worthwhile... We always meet new acquaintances and make new friends at every walk of life but IIT has gifted me with such gems that make me feel deeply indebted to it...

And never before has this occured to me.. I have rediscovered myself here... And it pains my heart to leave all this behind now... The time spend in the company of these friends, the pointless night-outs, the studying on the night before the exams, the arguments, the debates over various issues of life, and the dabbling with many new activities; all of these would be mere memories now...

But that is how life is... I am done here and have to move ahead... After gaining all these experiences, I look forward to making my mark in the real world... where and how life would take a turn, I cannot tell... But being at IIT has helped me develop a positive attitude towards life... and so I am optimistic about the future turn of events... Though it would surely take some time to emerge from this hangover of nostalgia... At last, it is reality... I am an alumnus of the Indian Institute of Technology Bombay!

The elusive kiss of victory..

It was the end of the second day of the first test between India and the West Indies at Antigua, the ground that had seen Lara score the highest individual score in Test cricket (400* vs England).. India was in deep trouble with a dismal first inning performance and already under a 70-odd run lead... That was the time when I made a seemingly unreasonable prediction, that India will win this test... naturally evoking a strong reaction from my pragmatic peers... Anuj had even gone to the extreme of labeling my prediction as the height of optimism... But i think optimism is taller than most ppl think... :-)

though finally it was the determination of edwards and collymore along with dave mohammed to keep the indians just an inch away from victory... i think it was a wonderful performance from India and it is this sort of games that make cricket so much interesting... no matter what happens ahead in the remaining matches, India has come back strongly after the defeat in the ODIs and i am waiting to see what happens next...

And the week ahead is a treat for all sports-loving people... the Football world Cup is kicking off... the French Open will see some great action in tennis... we have the British Grand Prix lined up... and of course, the second test between India and WI... dont think will get too much time to blog all this while... :D

Encounter with the devil

Today was the dreadful devil day... when the date was going to form the devil number 666 (6 june 06)... and many bad things had been slated to happen on this day..... and it was the special time at 06:06:06 (that is six seconds after 6:06 am) when everything from year to second would read six... interesting, isn't it? well, i was awake to witness that rare occasion.. i was determined to stay up whole night for that... :D

And here is the proof, a screenshot of the local India time shown by Google, the quality of the image may not be too good... so in case u want to see a conclusive proof, u can get the large size image from me.. >:)

After enjoying the moment with pandey (the wing sbc.. lolzz), i buzzed manjan and one of the rare occasions when some one offered me to come to main gate for a cup of tea.. :D and i was more than willing to oblige... so we had an early morning bike ride and mast garam garam chai..

I finally got to sleep at 8:30am and then was up again at 10:00.. finally i met my guide and really, u cannot be luckier than me... mere guide jitna peace aadmi dekha hi nahi hai! had a very informal chat and I was back happy and waiting to pass more time... we went to upahar at Y-Point gate and then to our favorite ganesh juice centre...

The evening was quite blurred with sleep tending to overpower and then I slumped for sometime on anuj's bed (gosh! dunno exactly what bit me but I was rudely woken up by the bugs in his bed!) i still wonder how he sleeps there everyday... as he says, the bugs in his bed bite only people who should not be sleeping there.. (or maybe, they cant tolerate getting close to anuj.. lolzz) The India WI match was slated for an exciting finish and that was going to take up most of the night...

finally, the day of the devil was coming to an end with thankfully not much damage done and the world was saved from the grasp of the beast... :-)

The Reunion.. and the breaking away

Any transition in life is always associated with making new companions and parting with old ones.. And we naturally feel sad about leaving our old friends along with the fear that we may be as lucky again to get such friends in the future... But that is the bitter reality of life.. The purpose of meeting people is to one day break away from them... because each one of us follow a different path to their destiny...

Time is here again when we are at another junction in life. And this seems the most critical of them all. We are now graduates and now first get to taste the real world outside, a world which might turn out to be both cruel as well as rewarding.. And of course, it will be accompanied by making lots of new acquaintances....

But this Saturday, we old buddies from school and junior college time did get a chance to catch up with each other before we step into the world ahead... We met at the Borivali station at around 5pm.... it was really wonderful to be together with old friends again... reliving those wonderful memories and enjoying each other's company. After a long debate (as always) about what to do next, we finally decided to go to National Park for a stroll.... With Arvind leading the pro-National Park opinion and Aditya garnering support against it, it was reminiscent of the heated arguments that we used to have during those golden days at junior college and JEE classes.... spending time discussing just about anything, be it silly or important, nothing used to matter more than proving your point and getting people to support you... The main argument from Aditya was that National Park would close at 6pm and so it would be useless to go there; which was quashed outright by the omniscient Bhagyesh, thus tilting the balance conclusively in Arvind's favor... Finally, we were at the park and overlooking the lake where we had a few snaps taken as memories of this reunion... We also had a good time in the children's amusement area in the park, where we just shedded a few years and enjoyed some carefree moments... Bhagyesh also had a merry time in the swing (strictly made for children and which shuddered under his weight :P) until he realised that he was very much vulnerable to mud-slinging and let go the swing (which seemed to heave a sigh of relief)...
Later we went to Siddesh's place and had some pet-puja and discussions on reservations, cricket and football.. We were basically whiling away time until our friend Mujju arrived from Mulund... Then, we planned to have a dinner at Urban Tadka but had to wait for as long as 45 min before we could gain entry.. So, we spent our time in the futile attempt to convince Arvind for a treat, which we all so much deserved.. But Arvind, as always, did not budge and we ended up having a contri treat... but that did make it any less enjoyable (except towards the end, when we had to shell out some money)..... The travel back to home in bus was the perfect end to a very memorable evening...

After graduation, some of us will be taking a job right away while others will be pursuing higher studies... our paths and our destinies seem to diverge from here on.. Our destinies may sure interwine somewhere in the future but we will definitely get to see each other less and less and the fun that we had together will only continue to exist in our memories... Such friendship will sure be very hard to find in the life ahead... At this moment, I just remember the old hindi song:

Lag jaa gale, ke fir se yeh haseen raat ho na ho......
Shayad fir se iss janam mein, mulaqaat ho na ho..... >:D<

And I would also like to say the following lines for each one of my wonderful friends...

A bond of love…
A medal of trust…
A shoulder in sadness..
A hand in darkness…
A special relation to hold…
An ear where secrets can be told..
An appreicater for encouragement…
Something that doesn’t cost…
A Jewel never to be lost…
No matter where in life either of us will end..
You reside in my heart, my dear FRIEND…